


Beauty and the Hoofbeast

by squidcandy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Beauty and the Beast Fusion, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 11:00:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14134707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidcandy/pseuds/squidcandy
Summary: A twist on the traditional beauty and the beast story originally made for HSA valentines event 2018.Feferi stumbles across Equius' castle in the midst of a blizzard.set in an AU in which the dancestors are older siblings.Editor needed! dedicated to childishGambino(<3 herding cats inspired)





	Beauty and the Hoofbeast

**Author's Note:**

  * For [childishGambino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/childishGambino/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Herding Cats](https://archiveofourown.org/works/349720) by [childishGambino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/childishGambino/pseuds/childishGambino). 



Feferi was glubbin cold. She had spent the morning dodging Eridans flushed advances, and Gamzee's various attempts to snap her neck because 'yOU AvoID mY MOiraIL'. This had delayed her annual trip to her sisters Meenah's house considerably and now she was trudging through frost towards the distant palace in the dark. It started to snow and her gills were freezing up. She had to get someplace warm, quick. Swiftly readjusting her scarf she quickened her pace, the warm glow of her lantern proving useless in the blizzard. In the distance, she could see the silhouette of a castle.  
'ITS ATROUT GLUBBIN TIM---E' she grumbled, making her ways towards it.  
She reached the door and let herself in, not even bothering to knock. Meenah hates it when people knock.  
Feferi sighed in relief. The candles were lit and her gills started to thaw. She dropped her bag in the main foyer and walked into the next room. Huh, weird. Since when had her sister taken an interest in nude musclebeast posters? And robotics? And metal? Jegus there was a LOT of metal. Metal furniture bolted into place, metal plates, even a metal clock. suddenly she heard a loud clanging coming from above. She crept up the stairs and into a dark room, lit only by a diamond lamp. The furnishing in the room was sparse consisting only of a diamond worktable, metal cupboard, and two diamond chairs. Feferi felt uneasy all of a sudden. This wasn't her sister's palace. As she turned around to leave she heard a low voice speak "It is improper etiquette to enter another trolls hive without permission." Feferi slowly faced the owner of the voice. He was a muscular troll with cracked shades and broken teeth, and very, very tall. His hair was straight and fell to his shoulders and his horns, no, horn, grazed the ceiling. In the dim light, she could make out a sheen of sweat glistening on his skin. Thoroughly intimidated, she let out a small squeak. "I'm saury..." She mumbled. However, much to her surprise the mystery troll did not snap her neck but instead walked out the door. "The blizzard was most une%pected. We shall speak downstairs."  
"W)(ats your name?"  
"Equius Zahhak."  
"O)(."  
He never asked about her name but invited her to stay for dinner.  
They had dinner on the metal table, complete with salad and lususmilk. Feferi tasted it and decided that she liked it. Although she couldn't help but eye the Cholerbear steak on the table. No one said a word until a disheveled looking troll stumbled into the room blinking groggily.  
"Mmmeowning." She yawned, and her mouth was an olive cavern. It vaguely resembled a cats mouth.  
_'Who was this?' ___  
"Nepeta. This behavior does not behoof a noble olive b100d of your status." Equius chided.  
"Whatevs sweatquius." The catlike troll frowned and sat down, almost immediately inhaling the only meat on the table. She licked her lips afterward and then leaned forward, using her long claws to pick out any remaining protein.  
Feferi could've really gone for some roast lusus meat right then. But she figured it would be rude to intrude further.  
"Who's thiss?"  
"She is a guest who will be staying with us until the blizzard calms down." Equius deadpanned. He didn't seem too pleased about Feferi. Feeling embarrassed Feferi leaned over her wilted salad, her tangled hair sweeping in front of her face. A collective gasp was heard. Nepeta was the first to speak up.  
"Are you a seadweller?"  
"mm)(mm." Feferi blushed. Equius spared no time in noticing the color of her cheeks.  
"And a fuschia b100d at that!" He started sweating and crushed the metal cup in his hand out of stress. "Pardon my impudence, Heiress." He got up and bowed low.  
"Equiuhiss! Stop that! We talked about thiss, remempurr?" Nepeta whisper shouted.  
"Nepeta, bow this instant or we may be culled," Equius muttered.  
"O)(. O)(! No! No, don't bow! It's ok! TH---ER---E IS NO! N---E---ED! TO! BOW!" Feferi got up from her seat and waved her arms around frantically. "I won't cull you guys! You've been so nice to me! SO STOP GLUBBIN BOWING!"  
"Is. Is that an order?" Equius started to sweat.  
"Uh, yes?"  
Equius promptly resumed his seat on the table.  
"Told you so! Her Meowjesty won't hurt anyone." Nepeta flashed a grin and then bounded over to whisper something in Equius' ear. Feferi noticed that Nepeta was just barely shorter than Equius. Equius blushed and rubbed the back of his neck in response to whatever she had whispered. Nepeta in turn giggled coyly and resumed her seat at the table.  
"Are you bot)( Matesprits?" Feferi inquired.  
"Nope! We are just Meowrails! So don't be afuraid to put any moves on sweatquius here. You have my apurroval!" Nepeta winked.  
"NEPETA YOU ARE BEING ABSURD AND CRUDE!" Equius slammed his fists on the table. Only the industrial screws on the table prevented it from flipping through the roof. He stood up suddenly and left the room, irked. Feferi could practically see the cartoonish steam coming from his ears.  
"Whoops. Sorry." Nepeta looked at Feferi and shrugged, not a hint of regret in her expression. Then she resumed cleaning her teeth. Feferi felt kind of guilty about the whole incident, so she politely excused herself from the table and went back to the entrance hall to pick up her bags. To her surprise, they were not there. She heard a soft whinny behind her and turned to face Aurthour. Aurthour led her to an empty respiteblock, complete with a recuperacoon. Her bags were in the corner of the room. She turned around to tell Aurthour that she couldn't sleep in a recuperacoon but he had left already. Oh well. Guess she had to sleep in the recuperacoon.  
Her hands were on the hem of her shirt when the door opened. She jumped.  
"Aaaaagh!"  
"Whoa! We're you changing?"  
"W)(ale... I was gonna..."  
"Ok, but meow you gotta listen to me."  
As tired as she was, Feferi's curiosity swept away the fatigue.  
"Okraaaaay." She said cautiously.  
"It's about my Meowrail. Equiuhiss is very, very lonely. All he has is me! And though I might be an excellent meowrail if I do say so myself, I only come over during winter. He still needs a Matespurrit. And I think he likes you anyway. So. Give it a shot." She finished awkwardly.  
"At least you're upfront about it," Feferi said cautiously. She didn't want to tangle herself up in other people's affairs just yet. Nepeta slinked away, certain she had effectively found a matesprit for her moirail.  
Feferi turned on her palm husk. Shit. There were a million messages from Meenah already.  
\--CC∈: fef? w)(ere are you.  
\--CC∈: F----EF.  
\--CC∈: YOU B--ETTA NOT )(AV---E FROZ--EN OUT T)(---ER---E!  
\--CC∈: fef im sorry please come back.  
\--CC∈: FIN---E!  
CC: I'm )(ere! I'm )(ere.  
\--CC∈: took you long ---ENOUG)(.  
CC: I got lost! And I'm in some ot)(er trolls )(ive now.  
\--CC∈: W)(AT.  
CC: T)(ey're reely nice.  
\--CC∈: girl get yo glubbin ass )(ere T)(IS INSTANT!  
CC: GLUB TO T)(AT!  
\--CC∈:  >380  
CC: W)(ale I couldn't even if I WANT---ED TO. t)(ere's a blizzard out )(ere. I'll leave w)(en it's over.  
\--CC∈: gill you got yo trident on you?  
CC: B---ETTA B---ER---E---EF I DO!  
\--CC∈: good gill. spear em all afterward.  
CC: M---E---ENAH!!!  
\--CC∈: Hehe.

____

Feferi sighed. Meenah had the same Trolltag as her, so Sollux had to hack Trollian in order to change it. In fact, everyone's siblings had to modify theirs. So CC became --CC∈, CA became ￦CA￦, AC became ◤AC◥, TC became ☚TC☛, TA became ◽TA◾, and so on.  
In any case, she wasn't completely opposed to the idea of staying in this hive. Going to Meenah's almost certainly meant endless noogies, sporadic murder attempts and tripping over a bajillion hair brushes.  
Feferi peered out the window. The blizzard wasn't going to stop anytime soon. She made sure to lock the door this time, undressed and then descended into the sopor. The slime was too thick for her gills so she decided to use her lungs. It felt unnatural at first but the sopor dimmed her senses so that any discomfort faded into thick silence. She was out like a light.


End file.
